Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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