i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize