whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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