shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
