i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
