Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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