i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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