Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
