i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
