i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
