therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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