Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
