Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
