I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
