i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
