his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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