You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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