We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
