talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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