i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
