I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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