Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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