and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
