I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
