plz talk dirty to me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
