He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
