dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
