hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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