i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
