Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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