Acid is not a monday night drug
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
