hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
