You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
