Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
