It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
