Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
