I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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