You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
