She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
