Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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