u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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