OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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