never play flip cup with pint glasses
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
