You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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