She announced her abortion via fbk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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