Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
