You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i now understand why vodka
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
