All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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