NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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