If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
